Sunday, February 28, 2010

purrfect finale!!

Morning dew dint knew,
when it flew , to the boulevard new
my feet turned to you,
just in wake of bidding adieu.

pie charts u dread being a part of,
n its sumthing i never before heard of,
but I appreciate the concern
shown on your part
being there was your shot
you dint want to be lost
in the stream of those colors
coming of from, the centre that
you thought would never hold on
your hand fell short of
n you woke up sweating all night long.

u never knew dearest, who I was
I am who you never sought,
when in bright day light
you looked for that enemy cart
You just went along
with your heart in your arm
n hiding away from me your soul's chart
A bountiful would I not claim
but the pie that you never tasted
is me all along
you were there holding it on
when you said
let me go,
off I set you to your own bars.

Why were you trembling when there,
trying to locate your place, a vertical acclaim
when you bore the roots I was born from
I never saw into your eyes, the solemn of you being me
you left when you reached the core,
you were always let away , to being your own
oh you fear, the dark in there,
the pie's not my way,
I am just the only way you knew
you left the me you drew
n falling deep in your dreams, I caught me
n brought her back
so that whenever you need her next
you get the canvas , the colors, the paint
a figure'd stay and there you go
get her , getting on yet again.
surpassing the eternal cliche of me n you
I found the part in me where I'd keep you safe
even form you, come looking for it
the bars free, from the keyhole
you'd see, hiding behind the door
we play our games, you win , I lose
Me chasing you, like you never knew
You feel like you could run and hold me in your arms again,
but then the door's shut forever now
n the keys you lost in the pie of late
you were just a little late
now never to think,
of course! meant to be,
the color in me, that'd forever stay
not just the chart in a mathematical way!
a pie of my heart now would never be same again.
it left me, abused me, hating me
never to return, following your trail,
to the unknown.
you were right to say,
the bars work better than the pies
I've always loved.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

1. I have multiple boyfriends.
2. I have a cruel heart.
3. I have no emotions.
4. I have always been rude.
5. Am always in a bad mood.
6. I get angry easily.
7. I understand not.
8. I scold.
9. I am old.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

together.. we will

Being inspired by a recently visited blog, I thought of changing my style a bit. Taking into account the fact that there aren't much followers of this blog, I can take the liberties to do whatever I want, without seeing any eyebrows raised.

First and foremost, for those who do n those who forgot, Its the martyr's day we breathe today, Mr. Gandhi expired or attained martyrdom today, not calculating how many years back. And as expected the newspapers are full of his sayings or supposed sayings , for at least I dont know if he said what they wrote. Hoping that his spirit, still finds time to sing his fav prose, and also that he likes the India he got freed more than six decades ago. For this is the best I can hope for. n Ya to tell him, that the country misses him a lot, the newspapers giving the proof.

N importantly, I'd like to mention "Save the tiger". The big advertisement in the TOI asks us to do whatever, to get the message across. For if the tiger himself gets to read this blog, he's gonna go kill itself. Our national animal, is that what we used to get in our GK papers, without fail, needs these kind of public requests to save him, the one who was the king, is at the mercy of the kingmakers. 1411 is the number they record , dropping down from 40000, from the last century.What I fail to understand is if I ask my best friend to save the tiger, how's it gonna help, am sure my friend's not the one out in the greens, looking for the tiger skin, n killing him therein. Well if it helps, we'd rather spread this message across to millions, while the national parks and reserves fail to save them, we living in our MNC cubicles would make the difference, its not the poor govt. to blame but us, the one's who still choose to growl at the policies and the makers, paying tribute to the royal majesty. Save the king or we'd loose out on our hopes to ever end the jungle rule.

King Khan on the other hand is busy these days apologizing for the mishandling of a particular nation's sportspersons at the recent bidding for IPL. For if anyone has seen the bidding, I wonder what exactly is a poor state , boards saying "Md. Kaif sold!" or noone putting up their boards with your selling price quotes.

India is becoming a centre for child prostitution, and would it be surprise to see a column that said, our children growing up to be adults, skipping , their adolescence. Now if you'd ask to spread the message across, what for, aren't we the ones paying to get into bed with the girl aged ten or twelve. Rightfully, there's no plea, the human rights people aren't bothered to display. It was just a small column , giving stats and numbers. Get into those dark lanes , and teach them to teach their girls, without their father's names, with just one door open. We rather choose to raise our hands and just give our head a little shake, poor girls we'd claim, what more can we say. We sympathize, or now not even that. Afterall We have to progress, busy writing columns to not make Marathi the language of the cab drivers. I am busy.

Parents forget to draw the lines, being liberal and hard. First you'll see the rallies fighting for sex education to be taught in schools, n then they'll say children fantasizing their dates. Responsible citizens we wanna breed , and not let them breathe, changing rules and the lessons too, we tell them its bold and adult too, grow old, with clear views, but stay innocent as if u never knew. how do you tell a boy aged ten , to change the channel when a nice bollywood number plays, and how then do you separate what is right to be seen and what's not. A famous on screen pair seen hand in hand or sting operations showing them in wraps. Reason with a girl for not wearing short skirts, or when you buy those sunglasses for her, you keep it dark or just open a window.

Sania Mirza called off her engagement to her guy, and the whole country mourns for barely a second and thereafter the story writing contest takes off. The channel with the most believable or the most unbelievable reason would win the race. How the country's media molds itself to what the countrymen want to see, is magical, we see what we want to see. So they show us, the news with the best juices to fit our tastes. We get the media we deserve, we build the media we desire, Journalism is what I wanted to do, I no longer do, I wouldn't have survived.

And the CRR hike is not to be feared, Mam Kochhar tells us. So you can sleep well tonight and not touch your investments, atleast till she sends the signal red, or a famous financial analyst displays signs of concern.

We still rock as Indians!

Thursday, January 28, 2010


“We die as often as we lose a friend.”

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

the fire I dreamt!

It was red, a little warm it felt, I was going into it or coming out I recall not. My life, they changed it day before yesterday, when they asked me to turn his bride, he is my better half. His hand in mine, a dream I was made to see, from the day my dreams started appearing to me, in full bright lights. It took me a month to finalize the ring I had seen myself putting into his fingers, n his moving into mine like slipping into butter.The nerve that connects to the heart it says. He was my dream or so I saw. I left my Dad's hands , his fingers were hard to slip, coz mine have been stuck to his for ages now. He said " He loves you a lot, I know, Go and see for yourself, he'll be there by your side the day you breathe your last, for he is your prince, charming away into the night bright..." I nodded.
I could just roll around , my feet were trembling. The first step I took into his house, I took a good minute to recall all I have seen in my dream. I closed my eyes, in the hustle bustle of his family, n his friends. My friends I forgot, as if they never existed, I forgot the one I thought I'd take along n hold his hand, turn around to ask him wat next. Alone there, his hand slipped into mine, held me tight, n said " Its me, with you always, take this step further, n I welcome you in my life, take a while if you wish to, but I assure you, am the one you are gonna find, when you need that hand you so longed for all through this life. I am yours for forever from tonight." I stepped in.
A slight flame appeared, I opened my eyes, the vows were clear. I looked for his eyes, when I repeated mine. I called out his name, how could he not hear the voice he said he cannot sleep without at night. The finger was turning gray. The nerve that took his love to my heart was not flowing the right way. I saw, blood oozing out of my feet, the color hadnt yet washed of the doorstep I entered in. My steps they counted, they said its a new beginning. The body is melting, wasnt it the warmth I craved.I was breathing my last, and he was there too. His hand I can figure out but this heat is making me sway, the eyes are tough to keep open. His hand he said was holding on to mine, but today when he threw the matchstick to the red end of my favourite wedding dresses, he gave not to me what my Dad told me was mine, all he could give me was a smile. n I smiled.
My dream was complete today, as they say it ends well, unless there's something left. My prince found a place for me, my ashes he'd spread in this palace I was gifted. Dreams you live, n happiness you find, if day two is when you burn, find your light. There stands a lady in white, n she tells you, " You are a burnt duck n grilled into time, to find your real face, your body is just a peck of scars, hidden behind the veil you wore. Come my girl, its time to take another birth, go give them the inspiration to poets, the shoulder to the crying, the solution to the one seeking, the body to the craving, the food to the hungry, feed milk to the little one, n then when they are done go find your corner, n come back."

Sunday, January 3, 2010

third day...

Okk! its the third day of the new year, n wen I started it with a distinct glow, even though in a place of lot of unknown faces I was happy, I sent out a lot of smses called a few special ones, n decided to continue the same way. I didnt actually make any resolutions, coz frankly I forgot, I had a bus to catch at 5:00 in the morn from Del to Pat n I slept of, at 2:30 in the morn to get up at 3:30. I had no regrets. I wanted to be happy, n enjoy. n To think of it, I can stay happy, coz not much is required to keep me joyous. But I do lose that charm (;) in a rather alien places, am not too comfortable. u kno like out of my comfort zone. Coming to the point, one call made me talk to sumone i hadnt been in contact for more than one n half years, another one, I heard the children playing in the background, with an aquantaince's voice disrupted by the waves of the dark sea in chaupati. A call that required lot of guts on my part, was the one I dreaded most, It had been long overdue n then the first day of the year was the day to face it all. Another one, a friend who's trying to settle down in a new place, n struggling a bit keeping up with the new way. My evening walk companion was one person I did get a little casual with, remembering those days of walk n talk. Last but not least the first night of the year ended with an almost exhausted me callin my twin soul, to finally tell him the day's chores , n very sleepily slipping of when he bugged, "Are you okay?" I was tired but I know what was being raised, an eyebrow for the me, That was so cleverly put away. But u know it never works so easy with these twin mates you get far from, but they still gauge their way to your eyes n your voice trails. I tried but unable to help a disappointment flashed again, a confusion am staying away from came running, n there I sipped again a cup of hot thoughts n wished him a good nite wave for the rest three hundred n sixty four days. I didnt go back home yesterday, n I stayed, went roaming round this place, n in the nite panic stricken on the earphones missing n unable to hear the songs till I go sleep. Morning spent wondering the same, n the whole day with a moon turned down on this face, hav still not found my earphones, n my songs I lost. I am trying to keep up with the happy me, am just unable coz the small things I need are so big I realize today.
I wish I had gone home n rather spent the sunday watching Ben n his aliens play. :(

the wind I owe....(my window..)

Now n then I keep looking from a window to the outside world, a world that scares, am not the one taking the stage am the one hiding behind the big blue curtain, but the horizon is the place I owe a visit to. That's my calling, beyond the road, the tree, the bird flying, I see me standing. Why do I look outside the window every night, to find stars in the sky dark, or to see a moon smile from afar, or another soul looking in my direction from the parallel path. Hair flowing on this face I wake up one morn to see a morning ray, a yellow white sun shying away, white curtains in a a soft silky cloth hang by the window side, making waves with the breeze on roll. The windchime I had so carefully chosen from among thousands shortlisted in about hundred shops, hangs n whistles its own tune, n the mirrors in it reflect a ray on my face tooo. I blink and let it pass, My bird, mine coz its been visiting me ever since I talked to it once here on this window, wen together we sing our hearts out. I have not got many pictures to my kitty, but I have one 3-d pic with the three of us, sitting proudly on the windowside. Its a moment we shared wen we dint care, we were the ones they stared n then they say that we dared. Its my moment with the two of my most memorable mates, n its the smile we share. A small disfugured cup with words embossed, "world's greatest sis" finds a neat place in one corner. I have a blue dolphin or a couple of those with me, set across from far off places to reach me rite on time. Each one of these talking to me, with their own story hiding in me. But then dont we live life n not stories.
I always dreamt of a window where I stand, n look beyond anything that I can sense, I look for my perfect window.