Tuesday, August 26, 2008

.. it isnt as much still..


my life kinna became monotonous.. that's wat I was complaining a couple of months back.. well it might have appeared so.. but not really.. if at all I thought it has come to a standstill, it was moving at an uncomparable pace.. everything, every single living or non living piece round me was moving. I just got sum time to take a look around, rest awhile n amybe live life.. sumthing we forget while just trying to add to the excitement, get that punch, make it less routine...
human nature.. we just pray day n night for that bit of rest, a laughter shared, a smile passed, a hand held, pair of footsteps besides. n its just that moment we always await, spend the time just waiting for sumthing, looking out for a different world, for things to take a turn, change the scene n its that momnet onwards we feel we are stuck.. nothing's moving.. its a lifeless Life..

it was just then when it took a straight angle turn.. I could still see the same faces. but this time. I was the one on the move.. they appeared to b standing aloof.. farther.. they were being left behind.. Life just toppled me out of its streams.. the slower ones as I thought them to be .. Its a different world all together from the sidewalk.. m scared to the core.. but m still walking.. I want to see.. afterall I was the one waiting for this dawn.. how boring the same dusk was getting for me. I ruined it all for my own sake.. it just got outta hands, a whirlpool.. was this what I called for..
m still trying to figure out the bits.. its dark.. its lighted. its the same place have been before..
a lot of new faces have become a part of this new pathway, a few m still searching.. are they lost sumwhere, a few trying to make their way, a few that have been there.. n among all of them do I still call my life monotonous.. yes I guess this is the complaint I have... n I'll always have as long as there's life.. even today m sure walking, running at a supersonic speed, but its all fixed at a point.. nothing beyond.. nothing behind, maybe sumone's trying to catch up with me.. who feels life's still... n

how I wish that moment stayed on.. this isnt the end of that inability to move... a no excitement phase.. It has just disfigured my life in ways unknown..
I have sumthing I cannot have, I have lost sumthing I was dying to have,
someone m afraid to look back to, someone I was afraid to lose,
someplace I was dreading to stay on in, someplace I was measuring milimetres to reach,
a hand I was always looking for, a hand that taught me how to walk, stand on....
a hug I left halfway.. a hug I was running to get hold of..

( today he asked me, "can u tell me from what 'moment', after the 'moment' u have dialled my number are you trying to keep the phone down... n trying hard..."
how long m I gonna take before I get this point straight..
another swirl , another wind, a topple to the mainstream or bay..
how many more moments m I gonna ask for,
n then wait to run away from the same.. maybe until I get them)

1 comment:

Aupsy-The cOOlest One!! said...

:)
the thing i love about ur blog is how it always compensates for the conversations we've not had since u left this place, and even when u were here!!!
Its good to know that there are words behind ur silence, some of which find their way to ur blog before getting lost in the "moments"!
Nice pic for the post btw...