Thursday, September 25, 2008

till my last !!

" I just wanna inform m .. getting married the day after... hope u r fine.. m gonna ... take care.. "
What do u mean.. not just like that... wait lemme just atleast.. come on.. u've gone nuts or wat... I hav gottta do sumthing bout it.. He cannot... how cud he ... m..
My fault.. I was the one.. all this while making him understand how we are two very very different persons.. not meant to b together.. not meant for each other.. how it's going to b impossible.. n he got it finally.. but.. why m I feeling.. I wanted this all along.. n dis is wat happened.. now wat.. distance .. distance.. everything at a distance..
day after.. dat leaves me 2 days.. m gona get to him.. he cant.. n why cant he? u asked him to..
now let him b happy.. plzz let him b by himself.. for his sake.. but .. wat bout me... wat bout u? u said nothing matters.. another guy another day.. ur words.. u repeat everytime.. everyday.. sumone tries to come close... ya.. but .. I .. need him... I know that.. as for now.. m not gonna wait.. m leaving for his place..
this is the train u've dreaded to take ever.. wat r u upto? this is not meant for u.. let him go.. I cant.. I just cant.. this is wat I've always said... but u have thought over it so many times.. its gonna b tough.. not even manageable... u've analyzed...to hell with it... who analyzes..
be practical.. for this once.. I dont want to... his touch still means a lot... his eyes.. they r menat to look just into mine.. plzz.. hurry up... m scared..
now wat?? wat after this.. I dont know nething.. where he puts up.. where is his home... ahhh.. great .. brilliant analyst.. think sumthing.. mayb this is it.. nowhere to go.. its the end for my journey. he's going to b sumone else's today.. u never really knew the path to him... u missed him.. I ..m .. how m I.. how cud I.. he was so near to me.. I was the one trying to act so strong.. how its gonna b the simplest thing in the world.. to let go off him.. how he meant nothing to me.
I successfully convinced him..
I think.. I'd b fine.. like how I say.. Is it time to go back.. we are not meant for each other...
wat m I?? pathetic.. this is more like.. the person neone wud hate.. come on.. is this called, to adapt.. or.. adjust.. or just move on.. more than that... comfortably sliding off... wat is it dat I want.. wud I ever know.. I never wanted him at the first place... then he became important.. I got practical.. decided it wasnt for good.. so we shud part our ways.. n wen he decided to move on.. I came all this long to get him.. wat m I upto.. just a chase outside or within.. I just love to run away.. or run after.. wat m I actually running from... shud I for once know...
I hav become a living adjustment.. why? coz m just a comfort lover.. I dont want to take chances.. or risks.. I just wanna keep it safe..
he tells me.. m on my way to make even a few good things worse for myself.. afraid that they might not go well... wat m I looking for... its not the distrust in neone.. I dont hav faith in myself... I dont even trust me..
n now I know I really do need him .. till my last breath... but then watever happens.. happens for the good.. he's gonna b happy.. n that's wat hav always claimed I wanted... I'm gonna miss u.. n miss myself always...

2 comments:

aupsy said...

doesnt the title look incomplete?

Ohh ok, now i get it...thats the point of the whole post... everythin is incomplete without "him", innit?!

:)

Gemini said...

ahemmm...

is it like being caught!!

;)